The People You Meet in CELTA

Girl, I'm so interested in that piece of paper...

You sent your payment in and are getting ready to immerse yourself into the CELTA craziness. If you got to this stage, you know that its a small course. Max of 12. You may also be aware that these 12 people are the only people you will interact with for 120+ hours since the CELTA will be your life for the next month.

Ok. So?

The CELTA draws a large variety of people from a butt load of different backgrounds, locations, ages, and personalities. Because of the high variation, it is inevitable you will meet a lot of people you never thought you would meet, or perhaps wish you didn't. That sounded harsh. I actually met a few people I know I will stay in touch with for years to come.

Womp

As with any small, intimate group you are forced to interact with for an extended period of time, personalities will have a greater probablity of crashing. 

You will walk into the first day of class, take a look around and if you are anything like me, immediately beginning eyeing the people up. I mean its human nature. But hey, this is a new experience and you are ready to be open minded. You toss around that crumpled piece of paper the instructor made, awkwardly introducing each other. You think to yourself, "-s/he is hot  -fuck that guy  -nice catch dipshit". 

These could be your first thoughts, but they will change. You will find first impressions can, and do change. 

The next step is splitting the class in half, 6-6. These 5 other Celtoids you were randomly grouped with will become your 'family' for the next month, like it or not. You will interact with the others, but will spend 75% of your time with these 5. And don't think it ends after class, you will have to be in contact with these people on average 10 hours a day. Usually an hour before and after class; fighting over the copier, determining who is doing what lesson plan, or trying to fix your resub assignments together.

In my experience, there were a few macro-stereotypes I found in my class. These weren't exclusively in my 5, but the entire 12. 

The 'Lifetimer'. This guy started teaching ESL ages ago. He has a heap load of experience and can really teach, you might even think he is better than the instructor, and he very well could be. Either way, the instructor will give him a hard time. No one can be this good because this is the CELTA and you can't be good if you don't have a CELTA. He will be held to a stricter standard and everything he does will be evaluated with scrutiny. He's a cool guy though, and was one the people you will remain in contact with. Plus he's got some good maryjane hookups. Anyway, even if you don't like him, he is still a good resource about the ESL world, and may even help you find a job. Plus he will have a shit ton of good stories, if you are willing to listen. 

The Old Eccentric Guy. Don't confuse him the with Lifetimer. He may have dabbled in ESL but he has had a few other careers. Some you don't even find out about till the end of the course. You kinda want to stay away because he's not your age or just a bit socially awkward. Even so, he is always a good laugh. He has somehow been to more countries than the Lifetimer and is most likely married to a foreigner. 

God's Child. Jesus. Wait maybe I shouldn't use that. Whatever, this girl is too nice, but also retarded. She's also possible a vegetarian or vegan. She wants to spread the English language because its the Christian Language... You know, because Hebrew, Greek, or Latin weren't some of the first. Religion is a touchy subject, and you should know I am not a religious man, but when God's Child admits to the class that the world is only 6,000 years old and dinosaurs and people lived together, she starts to lose your respect. 

The Socially Awkward One. Just a weird person, but not Eccentric Guy weird. At least Eccentric Guy is entertaining and mysterious. The Socially Awkward One is impenetrable to social clues and very uncomfortable in social situations. He can't teach for crap and probably never will be able too. He is an extreme stereotype who mostly likely does not exist in most CELTA courses. He will be the very small minority that does not pass the CELTA. 

Pot/Bar/Sexpat Guy. He's whatever. He's a good time, likes to party, is younger, and does ok in the course... minus some outrageous comments. He will most likely try to organize a class party the first weekend and hit on all the girls in the course, even God's Child. He either wants a career change because 'My job right now isn't working out and imma get outta here' or, 'Hey, I just graduated, I'm down to kick around in another country for a bit and party my face off'. You'll find him at the bar or smoking up during the lunch break, but somehow pull off a decent lesson plan. You'll stay in touch with him because you know he'll always being doing some crazy shit. 

The Quiet Normal Person. That's it. They are quiet, normal, just don't like to talk a lot. You don't mind small talk with them, and they don't either. They're good people, but its hard to get to know them as they keep to themselves. 

That One Person You Hate. This person can't be described because everyone hates different kinds of people, but most likely, you will dislike someone. You won't know who it is until you get into the course, but they will most likely be there. It may even be one of the people I listed above, multiple people, or hopefully, no one at all. My advice. Put on a good face, let them use the copier before you unless absolutely necessary. Just don't gossip, it may interfere with your relations with the others. Wait till after the course to blog about them ;)